Poundland today chose Halloween [31 October], to confirm on its facebook and twitter feeds that the advertising regulator’s worst nightmare, the naughty elf, would return to take over the retailer’s social media channels from December 1.

To make matters worse, Poundland also confirmed bosses had agreed to increase significantly the risk of offending snowflakes. It intends to triple the marketing budget for its 2018 campaign from £25.83 to £76.59 and introduce a second, female elf character - Elvie, alongside its original £2 Elfie to double the impact – a new friend with all sorts of benefits.

 After the controversy of its infamous inaugural elf campaign in 2017, Elfie was released from Wormwood Scrubbers earlier this week after thousands of fans signed the petition for his right to freedom. “Free Elfie… Free the Poundland One” (see below).

Despite undergoing Anti Smut Alleviation (ASA) therapy while banged up, it remains to be seen whether Poundland’s Elf will emerge a reformed character and take what may well be the last chance to redeem himself.

Confirmation that Elfie will return with a dramatically increased budget will strike fear into some of Britain’s struggling retailers, who’ve already splashed the cash on big name stars like Elton John and Take That this Christmas.

In 2017 the £25.83 Poundland spent on Elfie helped it generated a significant increase in sales in its golden quarter – a return on investment that frankly left investors in traditional retailers in a state of shock.

Poundland has hinted Elfie and Elvie may make a joint appearance when posh retail rivals release their budget-busting, tear-jerking Christmas TV ads next month.

“I know I’m not everyone’s cup-of-tea-bagging, but you just watch how I can bring a tear to the nation’s eyes,” said Elfie cryptically.  

Elfie’s return signifies the official start of Christmas at Poundland, with decorations and other festive products on sale as of today from, you guessed it, just £1.

January 2018

From his cell at Wormwood Scrubbers,  Poundland’s naughty elf issued this statement in response to the Advertising Standards Authority...

Britain’s the home of saucy postcards, carry on films and panto, so I’m sad the ASA found my double entendres hard to swallow.

At least it’s only 84 people who had a sense of humour failure compared to the tens of thousands who got the joke and liked and shared my posts online.

I’m doing everything I can to be good so I can get out on good behaviour later this year.

Love, Elfie x

Copies of Poundland's supporting correspondence with the ASA: